September, 2009 was my last entry here. I can clearly recall that I wrote to honor an 18 year old construction worker who risked his life just to save others. This event happened at the height of the infamous Ondoy Flood.
Today, is August 11, 2011, just 45 day after I experienced one of my most horrific nightmares - FLOOD.
June 29, 2011, 12:15 midnight, I had just uploaded some 105 pictures to my facebook account, when I noticed water slowly creeping into my room. And in just about two minutes, the water rose to about six inches and in about 10 minutes, it was already knee deep...
I woke up my ageing neighbors who were sleeping so peacefully. It took me about ten minutes to successfully rouse them from their deep slumber. Flood water was slowly rising at the rate of 3 inches per minute.
I tried to secure my belongings, but the water was constantly rising, so I decided to stay outside of my house to pray, when suddenly I heard a very loud crashing sound, coupled with a barrage of garbage and wild rushing of the floodwater. My neighbor's car was slammed against their fence that did not stand the pressure of the strong onrush of the water that quickly rose to about three feet. I started to pray harder...
I was not even in the middle of my prayer, when I again heard another loud crash... I was numbed... All I saw was the small Rambutan tree falling towards me... then I realized, my perimeter cement wall came crashing before my very eyes. Flood waters rose to about 4 feet.
I tried to find ways to try to save my neighbors who were trapped in their home, but I could not do it because the current was so strong and there was no way for me to reach them without me being ripped by the strong current. I tried to climb up to my roof, but I couldn't do it because the plank of wood I was using was too slippery. And when I noticed that the flood water was already neck deep... I decided to climb up to my other neighbor's rooftop. Carefully, I braved the flood water and grabbed the grilles of my gate and started to climb to safety. Water was already about six feet deep.
As I was sitting on the roof, I noticed a stinging pain all over my legs and arms --- I realized I had several shallow cuts. Up there, I realized, there were people on the rooftops of every house. Except on the rooftop of the old couple's house that I tried to save earlier. Then I shouted for help. I asked the other neighbors on my rooftop to save the old couple trapped in their own home. I was glad that there were three self-less teen-agers who braved the flood, jumped from one roof to the other to save the old couple from perishing in their watery grave. My thanks to them, the old couple were saved. Flood water kept rising.
From where I stood, I saw cars being washed out by the raging waters, an elf truck, a stranded taxi cab and a multicab went careening down the submerged road, crushing everything that got in their way. Nearby, a white car, as if calling for help, kept blinking its hazard lights. It found refuge on an electrical post. The water steadily kept rising.
It was nearly daybreak. The sun was slowly revealing the extent of the damage the flood that was slowly losing its rage. And as the sun rose, leaving behind image by image the horrible picture of the devastation, I watched my ravaged home in desperation. I uttered a little prayer of thanksgiving to God for "sparing" my house. But the sight of my other neighbors whose houses were demolished by the raging flood water, crushed my heart.
My front yard was like an evacuation center. Some were crying helplessly, others letting out loud nervous laughters, a few kept their cool. Everyone was wet, feeling cold, tired and hungry.
Two houses were crushed beyond recognition, one was swept into a neighbor's house, another house leaned on another house.
Those, for me, were a sorry sight to behold.
The flood experience, no matter how horrific it was, taught me a few lessons. One, there is no room for self-pity if I am caught in this difficult situation. I cannot afford to waste my time looking for someone to blame for my miseries. Most of all, I have no right to blame God for my misfortunes. God has nothing to do with the flood. People's irresponsible decisions and disregard for nature may be the true culprit. And if this happens, I cannot do anything to reverse their lack of judgment. So if I fall, all I need is to stand up and move on. If I fall again, then, I just need to stand up again and find ways to make life worth living. After all, only I can make my life meaningful. Two, no matter how bad the situation is, there are people, who will make my life easier to bear. There were family members and friends who came rushing toto help move on. Therefore, I never lose hope and I always believe in the innate goodness of people and even strangers. There were strangers who came in to help and never took advantage of my condition. Three, All worldly belongings are nothing. I work to accummulate them, but once disaster strikes, they perish into thin air. So, I give more value to life. If I am alive, I can still, one day, replace all the lost properties if I so desire. And lastly, I always look for the hands of God in everything that happens to me. I try to reflect on the role of God in my life during these trying times. I always find God as a God who has a weird sense of humor and I find it funny. I just need to reflect on all the things that come my way and focus on the learning experience. The mere fact that I was not one of the 30 persons who perished in the flood, I know that God really loves me and that is enough reason to praise, glorify and thank Him.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Monday, September 28, 2009
Of Life, Death and Heroism
How many of us can do what Muelmar Magallanes did? He was able to save 30 lives just before he was devoured by the raging flood waters during the epic flood that hit Manila and the neighboring towns, and cities.
This made me ponder for a while. While I lived within the confines of my comfortable home, someone was busy saving lives. He had already saved the lives of his family. He was able to take them across to safety. He could have stopped. But he did not. This 18 year old construction worker went back to save more lives, the lives of his neighbors. With strong will and determination, he swam back and forth across the raging flood water just to see to it that his neighbors and their children were all safe. Not thinking about his own safety, he brought the 30th flood victim across. Then he was swept away by the furious flood water. His lifeless body was found later and is now lying in state at one of the evacuation centers.
His act of heroism is really something that I should think about. What he did was real LOVE. He just showed us all what real unconditional love is all about. This is the love that Jesus spoke of when he said love thy neighbors. This is truly what is meant by LOVE --- not thinking about yourself, putting others' before your own concerns, up to a point where you puts his life on the line for the benefit of the greater good.
This really made me feel guilty because many times, I put myself first before others. I do not want to compromise my own comfort, much more, my own safety.
While I worry about little things, and complain about the leaky roof over my head, out there in Luzon, millions have no decent roof above their heads. While I complain at times that the water from the faucet doesn't give out enough water for me to take a bath, there are millions in Luzon who ironically have no potable water to drink while they wallow in fear in the midst of 20 feet of murky flood water, no telephone connections, no electrical power and practically nothing to eat.
While I worry about insect bites, painful back, and exhaustion from working in the office and doing little household chores, like doing the dishes, feeding the dogs, etc..., here is one virtually unknown person who rose above the blues and died while doing great service for others. Shame on me!
Well, let this serve as an eye opener, not only, for me, but for others as well. I really hope that one day, I could also do my little share for others. But for now, I still could not imagine if I could do what that 18 year old Muelmar Magallanes did. One day, I hope, I could do what he did. And if ever death overpowers me while doing such act, maybe, just maybe, I could say, that I have LIVED not simply existed --- my death was a meaningful one. And if this happens, I think, there will be no sad songs for me, no tears shed, no grief shared.
This made me ponder for a while. While I lived within the confines of my comfortable home, someone was busy saving lives. He had already saved the lives of his family. He was able to take them across to safety. He could have stopped. But he did not. This 18 year old construction worker went back to save more lives, the lives of his neighbors. With strong will and determination, he swam back and forth across the raging flood water just to see to it that his neighbors and their children were all safe. Not thinking about his own safety, he brought the 30th flood victim across. Then he was swept away by the furious flood water. His lifeless body was found later and is now lying in state at one of the evacuation centers.
His act of heroism is really something that I should think about. What he did was real LOVE. He just showed us all what real unconditional love is all about. This is the love that Jesus spoke of when he said love thy neighbors. This is truly what is meant by LOVE --- not thinking about yourself, putting others' before your own concerns, up to a point where you puts his life on the line for the benefit of the greater good.
This really made me feel guilty because many times, I put myself first before others. I do not want to compromise my own comfort, much more, my own safety.
While I worry about little things, and complain about the leaky roof over my head, out there in Luzon, millions have no decent roof above their heads. While I complain at times that the water from the faucet doesn't give out enough water for me to take a bath, there are millions in Luzon who ironically have no potable water to drink while they wallow in fear in the midst of 20 feet of murky flood water, no telephone connections, no electrical power and practically nothing to eat.
While I worry about insect bites, painful back, and exhaustion from working in the office and doing little household chores, like doing the dishes, feeding the dogs, etc..., here is one virtually unknown person who rose above the blues and died while doing great service for others. Shame on me!
Well, let this serve as an eye opener, not only, for me, but for others as well. I really hope that one day, I could also do my little share for others. But for now, I still could not imagine if I could do what that 18 year old Muelmar Magallanes did. One day, I hope, I could do what he did. And if ever death overpowers me while doing such act, maybe, just maybe, I could say, that I have LIVED not simply existed --- my death was a meaningful one. And if this happens, I think, there will be no sad songs for me, no tears shed, no grief shared.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
stray thought, too
It's been over a month now since I last wrote something here. Today, nothing much has changed... I am still experiencing thought drought (if there is such a thing...) BUT I will try to make my thought stray awhile to share my day's experience.
After two years of purely office work, meetings and more meetings, I have just been given one teaching load... and today is my first day of teaching... Now I realize, how I miss the classroom, the pandemonium and the blank stares of students who pretend to listen and enjoy the class activities... Well, this second day of classroom work is quite a refreshing relief from the swivel chair... I get to stand and talk and interact with the young... At times, it really makes me feel so great when students blurt our good and sensible answers.. but at times, though not too often, someone would just say some things that do not really make any sense... and because of this, i learned a thing or two about classroom life. 1. An answer is not acceptable because it does not go through a process called "thinking". The answer given by a student is just a lame excuse for not thinking... A student just offers an answer just so he could say something... To this I say to myself, "poor you! your brain potential has not been reached... When you die, and your brain will be sold, that brain will be very expensive because it is slightly used... poor you..." and this kind of student is the one who dampens my day. This tempts me to look forward to Saturdays and other school holidays... 2. the other thing i learned today is that, many students do really listen and listen well... and for me, I love these students not because they tell me openly: "Gee, Sir, I really love this lesson today... though this is still our second session, I am already beginning to like you because you are GOOD!" but because I could tell that they were really attentive and that they learned from the lessons imparted. To them I simply say: "Thank you!" and because of this I am excited to meet them again the following day and wish that there were no weekends or school holidays because they are the ones who make me look forward to another day and another day and another day in the classroom...
Well, teaching is such a challenging vocation. it has its down side and it also has it rewards... but at the end of the day, I thank the Lord because even though there are students who try to dampen my day, they still do not give me enough reason to prepare well for the following session.. I do not allow them to decide on how I should feel... As long as there are students who look forward cooperating and participating in the next session with me, I will still do my best to give my all to share my thoughts and knowledge with them.. As long as there is still one student who will stand up and show that he or she is still interested to learn and to journey with me through life, the other 29 students who are physically present while mentally absent will not make me bow my head in resignation... In fact, it even prompts me to show more compassion to these students who seem to be lost and in need of attention and kindness... They make me walk the extra mile... That is the MAGIS!
After two years of purely office work, meetings and more meetings, I have just been given one teaching load... and today is my first day of teaching... Now I realize, how I miss the classroom, the pandemonium and the blank stares of students who pretend to listen and enjoy the class activities... Well, this second day of classroom work is quite a refreshing relief from the swivel chair... I get to stand and talk and interact with the young... At times, it really makes me feel so great when students blurt our good and sensible answers.. but at times, though not too often, someone would just say some things that do not really make any sense... and because of this, i learned a thing or two about classroom life. 1. An answer is not acceptable because it does not go through a process called "thinking". The answer given by a student is just a lame excuse for not thinking... A student just offers an answer just so he could say something... To this I say to myself, "poor you! your brain potential has not been reached... When you die, and your brain will be sold, that brain will be very expensive because it is slightly used... poor you..." and this kind of student is the one who dampens my day. This tempts me to look forward to Saturdays and other school holidays... 2. the other thing i learned today is that, many students do really listen and listen well... and for me, I love these students not because they tell me openly: "Gee, Sir, I really love this lesson today... though this is still our second session, I am already beginning to like you because you are GOOD!" but because I could tell that they were really attentive and that they learned from the lessons imparted. To them I simply say: "Thank you!" and because of this I am excited to meet them again the following day and wish that there were no weekends or school holidays because they are the ones who make me look forward to another day and another day and another day in the classroom...
Well, teaching is such a challenging vocation. it has its down side and it also has it rewards... but at the end of the day, I thank the Lord because even though there are students who try to dampen my day, they still do not give me enough reason to prepare well for the following session.. I do not allow them to decide on how I should feel... As long as there are students who look forward cooperating and participating in the next session with me, I will still do my best to give my all to share my thoughts and knowledge with them.. As long as there is still one student who will stand up and show that he or she is still interested to learn and to journey with me through life, the other 29 students who are physically present while mentally absent will not make me bow my head in resignation... In fact, it even prompts me to show more compassion to these students who seem to be lost and in need of attention and kindness... They make me walk the extra mile... That is the MAGIS!
Saturday, June 20, 2009
My Vanished Friend
This morning, while I was reading an emailed poem entitled “The Vahished Friend,” I was silent for a while because the poem was very “life-like” to me. The thought of the poem is very real to my experience.
Let me just share this bit of reflection with the hope that everyone may learn from it, too.
I had this very close friend. His name was Lloyd. He lived a life of poverty. His father was a carpenter, her mother does a lot of odd jobs here and there just to eke out a living. One day, I went to their house at three in the afternoon, I felt bad because they still hadn’t eaten because they were still waiting for their hen to lay at least one egg which they would cook and share for lunch. I felt guilty because earlier that day, I complained, at lunch time because I did not want to eat fish fillet. And here, my friends and his family, were trying to laugh the pangs of hunger away by telling jokes and by singing songs. That’s how poor they were and they are still poor today.
We’ve been friends since the early 80's, he was in high school, then and I was in college (he was about 10 years my junior.) What bound us close together was our love for fun and music. We usually got together after school and sing... he with his guitar, and I with mine. We composed songs, played cards, eat and did lots of stuff together. We shared happy and sad experiences and we enjoyed each other’s company...
When I moved to another place (after 10 years of friendship), we rarely saw each other. I’d go and visit him once in a while. I always promised to pay him a visit as often as I could, but I never found the time to visit him as often as I wanted to.
Just this year, I heard that he was undergoing treatment for kidney failure (He drank a lot, and he loved to eat fatty food.). I told my self that I would go and see him one of those days. At times, I was already near his place, I just did not feel like proceeding to his house. I never had the guts to see him in his God forsaken condition. Until last June 5, I saw our common friend and I told him to go and see Lloyd, and I will just follow if I had the time off from my busy schedule. In short, I never visited my dear friend.
Just last June 20, a friend told me that Lloyd passed away last May 27. I was totally devastated. I could not believe what I heard. I got mad at that friend for not informing me earlier. I was really depressed. I was angry ..... I was so mad at myself. I felt so guilty because I did not have time. I did not find time for my dear friend. I took him for granted. It was then I realized again that “one realizes a person’s worth when he’s gone...”
Yes, my friend is gone. I am not. He is now resting in peace, I am not in peace. I am not at peace with his passing away. I am not at peace with him.... I am not in peace..... I am not at peace with myself.
This is not only sad. This is a tragedy. This is a misery of my own doing. So last Sunday, I went to pay her mom a visit.
There she was --- old, spent, and teary eyed. She approached me and gave me a very tight hug. A hug I knew that my friend could have given me if I had the courage to see him when he was dying. I knew that it was also the kind of hug that my friend would have desired had I had the nerve to visit him in his deathbed.
Mom cried. I tried to hold back my tears. I had to appear strong. A tear just rolled down my cheek. In an almost inaudible voice, she said, in between sobs: He’s gone... he left us... He is now with the Lord...
I do not want to burden you with my cares. I am telling you these because I want you to learn from experience. I want you to experience what life is all about.
Life is not all the time fun. It is not everyday a fiesta. It is not... It is not. As I was reflecting, this morning, I came to realize that a time will come when we will all be busy with our own jobs, and concerns. And if this time will come, I might not be able to get in touch with my friends as often as we do now. My friends might not also get in touch with me as often as they wanted to, because we will be busy making our own lives. And one day, what happened to me and Lloyd, might also happen not only to us, but all of our LOVED ones, our other friends, relatives and even our parents, brothers and sisters. God Forbid! They might... they might if we continue to be complacent with life.
But I also realized that in spite of life’s horrors, LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL if we just learn how to live it. It is a matter of how we learn from our mistakes and sins from the past.
Although time waits for no one, there is still time, as long as we live.
Look around! Who are these persons who deserve your genuine smile? Who are these persons who long for your warm embrace? Who are these people who need to know that you love them and that you care a lot about them? Who? Who is the Lloyd in your life? Is there, around the corner, an about to vanish friend?
Let me just share this bit of reflection with the hope that everyone may learn from it, too.
I had this very close friend. His name was Lloyd. He lived a life of poverty. His father was a carpenter, her mother does a lot of odd jobs here and there just to eke out a living. One day, I went to their house at three in the afternoon, I felt bad because they still hadn’t eaten because they were still waiting for their hen to lay at least one egg which they would cook and share for lunch. I felt guilty because earlier that day, I complained, at lunch time because I did not want to eat fish fillet. And here, my friends and his family, were trying to laugh the pangs of hunger away by telling jokes and by singing songs. That’s how poor they were and they are still poor today.
We’ve been friends since the early 80's, he was in high school, then and I was in college (he was about 10 years my junior.) What bound us close together was our love for fun and music. We usually got together after school and sing... he with his guitar, and I with mine. We composed songs, played cards, eat and did lots of stuff together. We shared happy and sad experiences and we enjoyed each other’s company...
When I moved to another place (after 10 years of friendship), we rarely saw each other. I’d go and visit him once in a while. I always promised to pay him a visit as often as I could, but I never found the time to visit him as often as I wanted to.
Just this year, I heard that he was undergoing treatment for kidney failure (He drank a lot, and he loved to eat fatty food.). I told my self that I would go and see him one of those days. At times, I was already near his place, I just did not feel like proceeding to his house. I never had the guts to see him in his God forsaken condition. Until last June 5, I saw our common friend and I told him to go and see Lloyd, and I will just follow if I had the time off from my busy schedule. In short, I never visited my dear friend.
Just last June 20, a friend told me that Lloyd passed away last May 27. I was totally devastated. I could not believe what I heard. I got mad at that friend for not informing me earlier. I was really depressed. I was angry ..... I was so mad at myself. I felt so guilty because I did not have time. I did not find time for my dear friend. I took him for granted. It was then I realized again that “one realizes a person’s worth when he’s gone...”
Yes, my friend is gone. I am not. He is now resting in peace, I am not in peace. I am not at peace with his passing away. I am not at peace with him.... I am not in peace..... I am not at peace with myself.
This is not only sad. This is a tragedy. This is a misery of my own doing. So last Sunday, I went to pay her mom a visit.
There she was --- old, spent, and teary eyed. She approached me and gave me a very tight hug. A hug I knew that my friend could have given me if I had the courage to see him when he was dying. I knew that it was also the kind of hug that my friend would have desired had I had the nerve to visit him in his deathbed.
Mom cried. I tried to hold back my tears. I had to appear strong. A tear just rolled down my cheek. In an almost inaudible voice, she said, in between sobs: He’s gone... he left us... He is now with the Lord...
I do not want to burden you with my cares. I am telling you these because I want you to learn from experience. I want you to experience what life is all about.
Life is not all the time fun. It is not everyday a fiesta. It is not... It is not. As I was reflecting, this morning, I came to realize that a time will come when we will all be busy with our own jobs, and concerns. And if this time will come, I might not be able to get in touch with my friends as often as we do now. My friends might not also get in touch with me as often as they wanted to, because we will be busy making our own lives. And one day, what happened to me and Lloyd, might also happen not only to us, but all of our LOVED ones, our other friends, relatives and even our parents, brothers and sisters. God Forbid! They might... they might if we continue to be complacent with life.
But I also realized that in spite of life’s horrors, LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL if we just learn how to live it. It is a matter of how we learn from our mistakes and sins from the past.
Although time waits for no one, there is still time, as long as we live.
Look around! Who are these persons who deserve your genuine smile? Who are these persons who long for your warm embrace? Who are these people who need to know that you love them and that you care a lot about them? Who? Who is the Lloyd in your life? Is there, around the corner, an about to vanish friend?
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Thank God It's Thursday
Thank God it's Thursday... Just one more day, and it will be Saturday.
I just feel so good thinking that it's Thursday... It is just for one simple reason: The following day is Friday... I just do not want to say TGIF... and if it is Friday, then it spells REST for someone who is hardworking as I. It is then, on that Friday night when I could make plans for Saturday...
It may sound so lame but come to think of it, when Thursday comes, I know that it will soon be Saturday and each minute that passes by, will make me more excited to think about my big plans for Saturday. When Friday comes, the excitement builds up and just before I sleep that night (if ever I could sleep, thinking about the exciting Saturday) I would mentally note the details of Saturday... This makes me happy...
Happiness for me need not be one big event. I still believe that one happy thought could make my day. Each little happiness that comes my way is enough to change my outlook for each moment. And because of this, I tend to make all the people I meet each day, happy.
I have been trying my best to make sure that whenever a person comes to see me, I see to it that this person leaves with a smile on his face. (This does not happen though, all the time, that is why I keep trying.)
In the kind of work I am involved in, I get to meet all sorts of people --- Some over-eager to please, some so nice and so sweet, some just truly friendly. The kind of person I do not need to meet in a day is the one who is so full of himself, bossy, pretentious and "fake". Some people come to me with a smile. They come into my office armed with all the nice words that flatter... They, then, make a request. At times, unreasonable requests... and when I say no and try to explain why I could not grant the request, they create a scene, shout invectives... malign... and even threaten me... well, to these kind of persons, I just think about this: To be harassed and not to seek for revenge...
Well, at times, it works... but at times, I doesn't. So I also show them the kind of stuff I am made of... I give them a dose of their own bitter medicine... I thought I felt vindicated... for a while, I thought I was happy... BUT if I were happy, why was I not smiling? why was I trembling, with hands curled into fists...
In the end, I end up feeling so bad... so pissed... so damn depressed.
At the end of the day, I reflect on that experience and tell myself: I'd rather think about the little things that make me happy, the short moments that make me smile... and one of them is Thursday... So I look up and thank the Lord for it is Thursday and just one more day, It will be Saturday.
I just feel so good thinking that it's Thursday... It is just for one simple reason: The following day is Friday... I just do not want to say TGIF... and if it is Friday, then it spells REST for someone who is hardworking as I. It is then, on that Friday night when I could make plans for Saturday...
It may sound so lame but come to think of it, when Thursday comes, I know that it will soon be Saturday and each minute that passes by, will make me more excited to think about my big plans for Saturday. When Friday comes, the excitement builds up and just before I sleep that night (if ever I could sleep, thinking about the exciting Saturday) I would mentally note the details of Saturday... This makes me happy...
Happiness for me need not be one big event. I still believe that one happy thought could make my day. Each little happiness that comes my way is enough to change my outlook for each moment. And because of this, I tend to make all the people I meet each day, happy.
I have been trying my best to make sure that whenever a person comes to see me, I see to it that this person leaves with a smile on his face. (This does not happen though, all the time, that is why I keep trying.)
In the kind of work I am involved in, I get to meet all sorts of people --- Some over-eager to please, some so nice and so sweet, some just truly friendly. The kind of person I do not need to meet in a day is the one who is so full of himself, bossy, pretentious and "fake". Some people come to me with a smile. They come into my office armed with all the nice words that flatter... They, then, make a request. At times, unreasonable requests... and when I say no and try to explain why I could not grant the request, they create a scene, shout invectives... malign... and even threaten me... well, to these kind of persons, I just think about this: To be harassed and not to seek for revenge...
Well, at times, it works... but at times, I doesn't. So I also show them the kind of stuff I am made of... I give them a dose of their own bitter medicine... I thought I felt vindicated... for a while, I thought I was happy... BUT if I were happy, why was I not smiling? why was I trembling, with hands curled into fists...
In the end, I end up feeling so bad... so pissed... so damn depressed.
At the end of the day, I reflect on that experience and tell myself: I'd rather think about the little things that make me happy, the short moments that make me smile... and one of them is Thursday... So I look up and thank the Lord for it is Thursday and just one more day, It will be Saturday.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
wandering mind
As my mind was wandering, wondering where it would lead me, it led me here. I do not exactly know what I am doing here, but definitely it made me create a blog. Now I am forced to write my first blog and I hope the fire that was started by a spark will catch on and become a blaze that would spread like wild fire... As I said, I am just a wondering wandering mind. I still do not know what to write about... but in due time, I will be able to express my thoughts, feelings and ideas. Or maybe, I could post some of those reflections which I have already written and are just sitting in the backroom of my hard disk... For now, I got to turn in and rest... It has been a long day for me...
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